7 Things You Can Do Instead Of (Or As Well As) Praying For Someone

I’m sick and tired of hearing those easy and facile phrases recited by many Christian people. You know the kind of things I mean…

Listen — I get it. When people around us are hurting or suffering, it is hard to know what to say that will help, and we struggle to find some form of words that will really help.

It’s even more difficult when that person is a family member or close friend. We desperately want to say something helpful, but we don’t know how. It’s not easy to know what to say.

So we will often mumble the words, “I’ll pray for you” — simply because it seems like the right thing for good Christian people to do.

The equivalent phrase for people with a less overtly “Christian” outlook on life is something like “Sending you positive thoughts” or “I’ll be thinking of you.”

Frankly, we say something — because it seems mean and unkind to say nothing. Even worse — and perhaps this suspicion is just based on my own less-than-perfect behaviour — is that we often get so busy that we forget to follow through and pray.

Maybe we shoot up a quick prayer — and then it slips out of our mind.

But is “I say a little prayer” — as Aretha Franklin suggests — really enough?

Is it acceptable to deal with people’s life-altering problems and deep-seated anxieties with a quick 10-second prayer?

More pointedly, is the standard Christian response “I’ll pray for you” simply a cop-out that enables Christians to retreat within the safe walls of their cosy existence inside the church building whilst doing absolutely nothing practical at all?

Shouldn’t we (also) do something a bit more…er… practical?

I believe God wants to use us to be a blessing to other people. We just have to be willing to step out, take action, offer practical help, and serve this person in their time of need.

Here are SEVEN small things we can do instead of mumbling the cookie-cutter churchy response of “I’ll be praying for you”.

1. Provide lifts to the doctors or hospital for appointments.

I’ve met people in churches who have an army of people “praying for them” but who have to call a taxi to even get to the hospital for that much sought-after appointment or treatment.

A trip to the hospital is stressful enough without having to navigate the way there and then — even worse — find somewhere to park. Have YOU ever tried parking at a hospital? So why not drive them right to the door and wait somewhere down the road until it’s time to pick them up again?

It’s a small thing — but it makes such a difference!

2. Shop for food and other necessities.

A bag of groceries is a real help when people are feeling under the weather, and most people who are struggling likely don’t feel like working out their weekly shopping list.

Why not take a quick trip to the local supermarket for them? It’s a small thing that takes an hour at most, but it would be massively appreciated by the person concerned.

3. Clean the house.

Just doing the dishes or throwing a pile of dirty laundry into the washing machine can make a significant difference for the busy mum struggling to handle family life while ill.

Helping someone take care of their daily chores will lift a big burden from the shoulders of anyone who has more important issues pressing down on them.

4. Do some cooking.

Seriously, it doesn’t take much to whip up a casserole or tasty homemade soup! I’m no Gordon Ramsey, but I can soon chuck some vegetables into a pan, add some stock, and make a really healthy soup in no time at all.

Most people who are ill simply don’t feel like cooking, so take that stress from them by providing a healthy and warming meal for them.

5. Offer babysitting.

Who wants to drag a gaggle of screaming kids to a doctor’s appointment? It lifts a weight off people’s minds to have someone available to look after their children while they do what is necessary.

Or you know a mother who just needs an hour or two on their own to regain her sanity. Why not offer to look after their kids while they go for a walk or to the local retail park for some “me time”?

6. Simply spend time together.

People do not always need someone to “do something.” Sometimes, just being there and willing to listen is more than enough.

Brew up some coffee and settle down on the couch for some quality time together. It makes such a difference!

7. Ask your friend what THEY need.

This is possibly the most important one. It’s all too easy to think that we know what they need. Why not ask them how you can help?

A word of warning, though: Be ready and willing to follow through, even if it seems like an inconvenience.

And to clarify — there’s nothing wrong with praying or offering positive thoughts. If you are separated by distance, it might be all you can do — although, in the age of mobile phones and Zoom, we can often do more.

But we need to stir ourselves and do more when we can.

Think of the impact that Jesus-followers would have if we had millions of people who claim to be “Christian” reaching out and offering practical deeds of help and grace to those around them.

…after all, it’s what Jesus did when he walked on earth.

Commit to reaching out to someone in need today. Provide a meal. Grab a cup of coffee. Settle in for conversation. Make that phone call.